Gnarperese is the native language of Gnarpian species (the dominant sentients of Gars), and is spoken by the vast majority of the planet's inhabitants. Historically, its development was spearheaded by that of an antediluvian philosopher and writer named Gnegel.
Simplified Gnarperese
Phonology
The table below describes this conlang's phonology. Using the International Phonetic Alphabet
Gnarperese's consonances (editor note: REMOVE ALL EXTRANEOUS ROWS/COLUMNS WHEN CHART IS COMPLETE)
Placement →
______
Articulation
↓
Bilabial
Labiodental
Linguolabial
Dental
Alveolar
Postalveolar
Retroflex
Palatal
Velar
Uvular
Pharyngeal/epiglottal
Glottal
Fricative
z
Gnarperese's Vowels (editor note: REMOVE ALL EXTRANEOUS ROWS/COLUMNS WHEN CHART IS COMPLETE)
Front
Central
Back
Close
near-close
common phonemes
Dictionary
Pronouns
Simplified Gnarper's pronouns are structured very similarly to that of English.
S
Pl
1
Ep
Epi
2
Nu
Gnu
3
Xe Xim
Xis
Xey
is literally translated to:
S
Pl
1
Me
We
2
You
You all
3
He
Him
His
They
Number system
While native Gnarpians utilize a base 726 number system, it is often the only the first ten integers that are spoken and transliterated by GFLs (Gnarper as foreign language) scholars. This is due to the feeble human (the bulk of GFL scholars) brain's inability to properly mentally catalog and compartmentalize the breadth of the Gnarp number system, a cognitive task easily accomplished even by Gnarpians of lower intellect and neural plasticity.
1 - zehk
2 - n'lorp
3 - zept
4 - n'loq
5 - zeg'l
6 - n'leep
7 - zerk
8 - n'lop
9 - zeep'r
0 - n'yee
As an example, the number "726" would be enunciated as "zerk'n'lorp'n'leep".
Due to the Gnarpian's efficient language economy, numerals are often used to emphasize adjectives and adverbs via multiplication - see below.
Xan
Romanized spelling (the writing system has yet to be conceived): Xan
IPA transcription: /zən̥/
Meaning: Good (adj)
Repetition of "xan" emphasizes the goodness of something. For example, if a Gnarpian says "xanxanxanxanxanxan" when refering to something, it means its better than good. It's similar to how "awesome" and "great" is contrasted with "good" in English. The use of "xan" like this is very colloquial and is rarely used in formal settings.
Nax
Meaning: Bad (adj)
Repetition of "xan" emphasizes the goodness of something. For example, if a Gnarpian says "naxnaxnaxnaxnaxnax" when refering to something, it means its better than good. It's similar to how "terrible" and "awful" is contrasted with "bad" in English. The use of "nax" like this is very colloquial and is rarely used in formal settings.
Other
(Written by Da tsar of sin. Maybe create dedicated Gnarper school of thought article?)
Atheriae/Aetherium:
the level of the universe beyond the material where evil demons and spirits known as "archons" reside and from where they give directions to the owner of Kiwi farms "Joshua Connor Moon". They are limiters of fun.
Flux:
the practice of leaving the material realm through following a strict gooning regiment and passing through aetheriae in order to achieve goonerist nirvana.
Glorp:
to assault someone sexually. Practiced by Gnarpians on submissive hwite bois as a way to express their fun.
Writing System and Orthography
Syntax
Gnarpy's Official Dialogue
Gnarpy's full in-game dialogue. Use for inspiration
*"YOU'LL ALL RUE THIZ DAY!"
"DON’T YOU ZORPS ZARE TO FOLLOW ME!" phonemes: z, o̞ʊ̯ɹp (editors note: gnarpy likes to use the voice aveolar fricative a lot)
"I ZHALL NOT MIZZ ANY OF YOU."
"Finally out of zhat box!!"
"Zrr.. I'll find zhe way back."
"ZTOP CHEERING ZO LOUD."
"Zuch whimzical dizplayz are zo pathetic."
"GAH! ZTOP YOUR ZEEPLEBABBLING!"
"I DON'T CARE FOR YOUR ZEEPLE ZELEBRATIONS."
"You zarn FIEND DON'T TEMPT ME"
"Thank you for the gift, UNDERLING!"
"GLORY to the gnarpianz!!"
"How zlorpful of you!!"
"IMPUDENT FOOL!"
"What a HORRID Glozopul GIFT!"
"Get thiz AWAY FROM ME!"
"I waz TRAINED for thiz!... ow."
"You think thiz rivalz MY tech?"
"AUGH! Ztupid pitiful light... ow.."
"NO ONE AZKED YOU TO DO THAT!"
"Gnarpian tech will ALWAYZ rival ground-dweller TRAZH."
"PLEGH! Grozz zmall petalz..."
"Yez, I know, I am the bezt. You can ztop now.”
"Are you praizing your Gnarpian lord? ZBLEGH!"
"Kindnezz will get you nowhere, zorp."
"You won't win me over with THEZE!"
"0UCH! DONT DO THAT."
"AA! THATZ COLDE!"
"WATER will not ztop me.."
“I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.”
“RRRRGH, ZTOP IT!”
"STOP IT YOU ZEEBLOiNG!”
"DON'T MAKE ME ZAY IT"
"ZTOP THAT NOW!"
"Water only makes me angry, you ZOPUELY WOPE!"
"UGHH! eebling zorpy water."
"NO ONE AZKED YOU TO DO THAT!"
"Abzolutely PITIFUL"
"NOT THE FUR YOU ZANG- URGH!!"
"GET LOZT!!"
"Quit throwing your EZOTIC FRUITZ at ME."
"Fleezers like you zould get eaten by joinkapedez."
"WATCH ZIT!"
"MY ZAPPER CAN DO MORE DAMAGE!"
"YOULL RUE THIZ DAY"
"0UCH! DONT DO THAT."
"How.. Trivial, planet-zooper."
"HZEY!! ZTOP IT NOW."
"Hmph, my BLAZTER iz more powerful."
"PATHETIC TECH!"
"FEEBLE FOAM FREAK!"
"Y'Know you're lucky I dont have my ZAPPER on me right now.."
"All of you are foolish, foolish fools"
"GEEP NOP GNARP GOP!!"
"I hate thiz."
"How would you knowz how to gleep like me…"
"Grr… Weird guyz around here."
"ZLAP ZEEP! Dang fur all ruffled upz!"
"No gnarp would ever tolerate thiz..."
"That ztupid park deserved to get invaded!"
"GAH! These blabbles always in my way."
"I really wish I could invade some dumb gleeper right now..."
"What kind of zlorp zeepes their bop like that!"
"Gah! These blabbes always in my way."
"I hate bugz! Therez no need for those ZILLY glorpz."
"I dream of CONQUERING this ztupid place.. and that zorpoblo shadow. hm..."
"That zhadow thinkz it can juzt dizzapear?? ZHAHAHA!"
"My zuperior gnarpian hollow armor looks ZO GOOD!!"
"Hm.."
"thiz muzt be one of thoze zeeping animalz that zcrounge in the trazh.."
Bive: "I'm no raccoon!"
Bive: "you know that they plot to corrupt every chip brand right???"
"GLUH!"
"It even zmellz like one.."
Bive: "Research is more important than something arbitrary like hygiene."
Bive: "Green fur..."
Bive: "Possibly used to camouflage from prey.."
Bive: "Long antennae.."
Bive: "maybe to contact others of its kind.."
"What are you MUMBLING about,"
"you zoink!?"
Bive: "your noise patterns"
Bive: "your eyesight"
Bive: "and your fur aerodynamics"
"..Thiz iz vital Gnarpian Information!!"
"Burn that notebook NEOW!!"
Bive: "Strange and mysterious being!!"
Bive: "May I ask a couple thousand questions about where you came from?"
"BAH!"
"Ztep azide you glorgope!!"
"I zhall have NOTHING to do with you.."
Bive: "But.."
Bive: "but all my hard work!"
Bive: "This is a once in a lifetime chance!!"
"I hope you zleep with the FIZHEZ!!"
"GZHAHAHA!!"
DrRETRO: "Mroew, miau. (Y’know with your great intelligence, you’d be a great doctor.)"
DrRETRO: "Meow! (You’d be able to help thousands!)"
"Gnarp… really?"
DrRETRO: "Meow mroew! (Yeah! Just think about it!)"
"Wow.. I never thought about zhat…"
"…"
"HOW BORING! ZHAHAHAA!"
DrRETRO: "Hiss, hiss.. (Well, It was worth a try..)"
DrRETRO: "Mrow maow mew? (I take it you aren't from around here?)"
"Are you DUMB? NOBODY HERE IZ, ZLOOPERT."
"I come from the bezt planet there IZ!"
DrRETRO: "mraw mrow mreoww.. (Well that's a bit self-centred..)
DrRETRO: "Mao mew mrow?(So what're you doing here?)"
"Iz'nt that obviozz?!"
"to uh... CONQUER THE UNIVERZE OF COURZE!"
DrRETRO: "meow.. hiss. (That's.. physically and spatially impossible.)"
"Finally! An intelligent feline zpecimen like m-"
DrRETRO: "mrowww mrrp? (Still trying to say you're not wearing a costume?)"
"Wh-"
DrRETRO: "mew meow? (Did you dye your fur then??)"
DrRETRO: "Meowww mrraow! (That can't be healthy!)"
"MY FUR IZ PURE NATURAL!"
"And my armor iz no coztume!"
"It'z made out of pure glorpodium!"
DrRETRO: "meow mroew.. (Any good doctor would know thats made up..)"
"What a WEAK and FLEEBLE beazt! I zhall operate you next!"
Folly: "What would happen if I operated on you?"
"Gnarp- huhz??"
Folly: "How would that coursing pain feel?"
Folly: "cracking through your body, slicing the crusts of your skin..."
Folly: "and searing your bones?"
"..."
Folly: "Hmhmhm.."
"With your power, we could rule ALL, ZHAHAHA!!"
Folly: "Your dreams for victory are so..."
Folly: "Nauseating."
"You... INZIGNIFICANT FOOL!!"
"ZHE GNARPIAN EMPIRE WILL ZMITE YOU WHERE YOU ZTAND!!"
Folly: "I would absolutely adore it if they tried."